Why is a particular person targeted?

A couple of inspiring twitter quotes from Celebrities Unite @URBullyProof:

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”

"Use what you've been through as fuel, believe in yourself and be unstoppable"



... and in the words of Martin Luther King Jnr:

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is 'What are you doing for others'?'"

On my journey of recovery from workplace bullying and mobbing, I have had an overwhelming need to try to make sense of what happened to me and why. It has been a steep learning curve and perhaps the key lessons for me have been:

- that many people do not share the same core values as me, i.e. the importance of caring for others, of honesty, and of justice. This came as a great shock as I had expected the people I worked with to share these values and to have care and respect towards me.

- that there are many more people in our world who are primarily ego-driven and/or with mental health issues, than I had realised. 

- that if you have been bullied, you are NOT TO BLAME and there is NO SHAME

- Bullying speaks volumes about the bully, not about the target. 


Before continuing with my story, I'd like to share some of what I have learnt as these may help you to understand why events unfolded in the way they did. 

Why is a particular person targeted?

Often it is because of the Tall Poppy Syndrome - the tendancy to criticise highly successful people (ie, tall poppies), and 'cut them down'. (Urbandictionary.com)

From www.workplacebullying.org: 

"Most likely, you were targeted (for reasons the instigator may or may not have known) because you posed a "threat" to him or her. The perception of threat is entirely in his/her mind, but it is what he/she feels and believes."

"WBI research findings from our year 2000 study and conversations with thousands of targets have confirmed that targets appear to be the veteran and most skilled person in the workgroup."

"Targets are independent. They refuse to be subservient. Bullies seek to enslave targets. When targets take steps to preserve their dignity, their right to be treated with respect, bullies escalate their campaigns of hatred and intimidation to wrest control of the target's work from the target."

Targets are more technically skilled than their bullies. They are the "go-to" veteran workers to whom new employees turn for guidance. Insecure bosses and co-workers can't stand to share credit for the recognition of talent. Bully bosses steal credit from skilled targets."